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Aberdeen Humour
The
Natives of Aberdeenshire
The
natives of Aberdeenshire are distinguished for the two qualities
of being very acute in their remarks and very peculiar in their
language. Any one may still gain a thorough knowledge of Aberdeen
dialect and see capital examples of Aberdeen humour. I have
been supplied with a remarkable example of this combination
of Aberdeen shrewdness with Aberdeen dialect. In the course
of the week after the Sunday on which several elders of an Aberdeen
parish had been set apart for parochial offices, a knot of the
parishioners had assembled at what was in all parishes a great
place of resort for idle gossiping--the smiddy or blacksmith's
workshop. The qualifications of the new elders were severely
criticised. One of the speakers emphatically laid down that
the minister should not have been satisfied, and had in fact
made a most unfortunate choice. He was thus answered by another
parish oracle--perhaps the schoolmaster, perhaps a weaver: "Fat
better culd the man dee nir he's dune? he bud tae big's dyke
wi' the feal at fit o't." He meant there was no choice
of material, he could only take what offered.
A
certain Aberdeenshire laird, who kept a very good poultry-yard,
could not command a fresh egg for his breakfast, and felt much
aggrieved by the want. One day, however, he met his grieve's
wife with a nice basket, and very suspiciously going towards
the market; on passing and speaking a word, he was enabled to
discover that her basket was full of beautiful white eggs. Next
time he talked with his grieve, he said to him, "James,
I like you very well, and I think you serve me faithfully, but
I cannot say I admire your wife." To which the cool reply
was, "Oh, 'deed, sir, I'm no surprised at that, for I dinna
muckle admire her mysel'."
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