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Out Of His Depth

John, the pawky " man " of the Rev. Mr Aiken, of the parish of Morton, had a strange preacher officiating in what he called his " poopit" one Sunday. As the " man " thought that no minister could preach like his master, he was not favourably disposed towards the substitute. The text had been given out, and the minister had been for a considerable time talking at his subject, and beating about the bush with it, when an old woman, who, from a "want" of hearing, had not heard the text, applied to John for information in these terms, whispered loudly in his ear-
" Whaur's his grund, John, whaur's hisgrund?"
"Grund!" replied John, with a look of contempt; " he has nae grund, nan, he's swimming !"

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