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A Wee Laugh at the End

A Wee Laugh at the End

Did you hear about the tourists who were visiting an old graveyards in Scotland and came upon a headstone that read "Here lies a pious man, a wonderful father, and a great teacher." One of the visitors quipped, "Just like the Scots tae bury three men in one grave!"

Jock, a believer in old customs, was giving directions for his own funeral. "Noo," he said to his son, "ye'll gae roon' the entire company an' see that they ha'e a dram. Syne ye'll gae roon' an' see that ha'e anither." Then he sighed and added, "An' as I'll no' be there mysel', I'll just ha'e mine the noo !"

An old gravedigger was asked how business was. He replied "Oh, very poorly, very poorly indeed. I havena' buried a livin' soul for six weeks".

The old Scots lady lay dying. She looked up and asked her husband if he would do her just one small favour before she went. "John," she asked, "on the day o' the funeral I'd like ye tae ride in the same coach as ma mother." To which John replied: "A' richt, Janet. I'll dae that tae please ye. But ye've completely spoilt the day for me."

When Hector's cat died he asked the minister if he could bury it in the church cemetery. "Certainly not" said the minister. Hector then asked the Anglican minister and got the same answer. The next day Hector met his own minister who asked if he was still trying to bury his cat. Hector told him that in desperation he had even offered the Jewish Rabbi fifty pounds to bury him but he had refused too. The minister's face immediately lit up. "Why didn't you tell me it was a Church of Scotland cat?"

Two Scots golfers were just about to putt on the 16th green, adjacent to a road, when suddenly a funeral procession passes by. One of the golfers, Tam McGregor, interrupted his putting, and took off his hat as the procession goes by. His partner said "That was really gentlemanly of you - paying respects like that". To which Macgregor replied "It was the least I could do. She was my wife for 25 years..."

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